taking on new responsibilities.

May 7, 2012 on Didache - "I pray that you say yes."

It has been the longest and most excruciating weekend. Weighing between declining or accepting. And each choice entails happy and sad consequences. Bothered is an understatement. The news has surprised me to bits. In times like these, I only need to seek guidance from the Lord. 

Meanwhile, my loved ones tell me to accept the new role. Hesitations come in because of the emotional attachment I have with my work and my SFA-mates.

After some fervent prayers, I have accepted to take on the new role. And I know it is what God has wanted me to do. There was even an affirmation from Him which I read from didache, "I pray that you say yes." It's very appropriate with the decision I have to make. The Lord really speaks to us.

Anyhow, come the talk with the boss. I wasn't emotional at first but towards the end, I just can hold anymore. Tears welled up though I tried to hold it like crazy. I just felt that change is really difficult. I just felt thankful to my boss for being unselfish in letting me go and grow like a parent does to his child.

When I came out from my boss' office, tears were so evident that Roni and Jla noticed instantly. They comforted me yet it made my crying worse. Ha-ha 

Our boss talked to everyone else in the department about the movement. It touched me a lot that he said , "Our Jang will transfer to another department...though it hurts but it's for her development." They're quiet. Later, it touched me even more when Jla cried. 

Roni, when I asked him to plug my charger, he said..."Anything ma'am, just don't leaver us." Ha-ha Kristina sent an Adele song "Someone like you". Yes, it's hard to leave these cool and loving people.

At the end of the day, I feel at peace. Difficult but at peace. God has helped me decide. He will guide me also as I take on new challenges.

Shaken up.

Do you welcome change easily? Do you accept challenges thrown at you with so much conviction? Without hesitation?


My current position as Senior Financial Analyst brings so much pride and fulfilment. This was my dream job when I was in college. This position opens an opportunity for me to develop my people, technical and analytical skills. I have been exposed to various operations, meet new people, brushed elbows with big and common employees and handled different responsibilities. The regular meetings I had with the directors and managers have helped me improve my confidence.


More so, I have the coolest and fun-loving co-employees (my dear SFA-mates) including my manager. We would agree even to bizarre yet cool ideas such as tucking in during Wednesday. We all get lots of compliments for this tuck-in day. Since we are just 6 in the department, we would most of the time go in unison – binge, share ebooks, mp3s, chuckle over and crack the craziest jokes, be totally thoughtful on each other’s birthday.


And today, I was a bit shaken up.


My boss called me to his office around 11:00 in the morning. By the look on his face, I know there’s something non-routine he will discuss with me, not about our projects or meetings.


“Hmmm..How will I say this?”…he started. Right then, I was sure I’m fretting like crazy. Then he let go of a laugh.


“Your name came up to replace someone in the Accounting Department”.


Yeah, I came from Accounting before as Tax Supervisor. But I like my job now.


Anxiety. Of moving out your comfort zone.


They’re giving me a choice to take it or not. I can always decline the proposal. But the thing is, top management might take this against me as not too open for growth. Or I hinder the growth myself.


I am too confused right now. I need to get away to collect my thoughts, where I want myself in the Corporate world.


I was taken aback by this unexpected announcement.


I need guidance. Lord, help  me!

rock music and insecurity

“God exists 360 degrees like unsolved mysteries... Agent Orange come up! Come up!”


You might think a brother or a guy cousin adores this. But it was me who used to adore this. It was so unlikely of me where everyone knew me back in High School as a sweet and conservative girl. Not into loud rock music like everybody (or almost everybody did in the campus).


I would borrow CDs of Slapshock and Limp Bizkit from friends and hurriedly play this at home. Rock goes with very loud volume and banging of head. To my father’s dismay, he would shout at me telling to stop it. For him, it wasn’t a music but a useless noise. I would get mad at him for not appreciating my music preference. We would always clash.


After a quite bout, I was over this love for rock. And I was in utter disbelief why I came to love rock and rock isn’t rockin’ at all.


And this “why” had been answered when I came to love myself.


The inclination to rock music was brought about the need to belong.


When I was in High School, mind you, I was a nerdy type who came from geekoid society. Minus the eyeglasses and braces and the not-confident-voice (imagine Betty La fea!). I was an achiever. And my brand of fun which was reading books, watch TV and stay at home. Theirs was sneaking out late at night just to go disco, escape classes, drink, smoke and date. My brand of fun would bore them to death. And so there was this longing that I could catch up with my friends, do their thing as well. Gladly, I never resorted to drinking and smoking just to belong. Rock music was my way of getting into what’s fad, to be of some sort to feel I was one of them.


But one day, it hit me. The hell with those crazy rock music! I didn’t need to do anything just to be loved, I need not force myself to like Rock music just to be accepted. There’ s no prerequisite to have friends. We just have to be ourselves. We just have to accept our own self, the rest will follow.